My first jewelry box had a ballerina that spun around, and it played “I’ll Never Fall In Love Again”. When I was about seven, I learned the actual words to the song, and I think that I sang it for two and a half years straight… I loved it. Later, my mother blamed the song for what she dubbed my fickle nature, but I have always placed the blame squarely where it belongs… on Marcia Brady.



"I'll Never Fall In Love Again"
(Burt Bacharach)

What do you get when you fall in love?
A boy with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble
I'll never fall in love again
What do you get when you kiss a boy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, he'll never phone ya
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again
Don't tell me what it's all about
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm not
Out of those chains
Those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you
What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So for at least until tomorrow

I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

Nice, huh?

Somebody at work sent this to me this morning. I don't usually forward emails or post jokes, but this just tickled me.

"I have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out and the woman behind me asked if I had a dog? On impulse, I told her no, but that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in
the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly the guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have to have help as he laughingly staggered to the door."

My boss has been a little bitty cranky this week, so I spent the morning squishing Tootsie Rolls into ... um... litter box stuff to decorate her office. This should cheer her up!