"You appeal to a select group of confused people."

"The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back!" ~"PeeWee's Big Adventure"


"I was in the hall. I know, because I was there." ~Wadsworth in "Clue"


"Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb." ~"Spaceballs"


"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." ~"They Live"


From "Dogma":
"Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now." ~Metatron

"I have issues with anyone who treats faith as a burden instead of a blessing. You people don't celebrate your faith; you mourn it." ~Serendipity

"Very basic strategy. If your enemies know where you are, then don't be there." ~Rufus


"Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he? " ~Clarence in "It's a Wonderful Life" (My favorite movie EVER!)


"Sometimes I guess there just aren't enough rocks." ~Forrest Gump


"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable." ~The Wizard of Oz


"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."
~"Airplane!"


"Soylent Green is people!"
~"Soylent Green"


"One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, i don't know." ~"Animal Crackers"


"After all, tomorrow is another day!" ~"Gone With the Wind"

And last but not least...
"That's not a baby, that's a Mr. Potato Head!" ~"Amazon Women on the Moon"

~ If your friend is in the butt-ugly belly of the Mid-Life Crisis Monster, it is not a good idea to sing "Glory Days" every time that you see him.


~Most over-the-counter tourniquets are intended for EXTERNAL use.

I’m skipping the Friday Five this week because I’ve got to tell you about my mom. She’s been gone for over a year now and I miss her every day, but with Mother’s Day weekend coming, I’m thinking – man – there’s nothing in the world that I wouldn’t watch burn just to buy another hour with her. She was an incredible person.

Mom had a heart as big as the outside world. I always hoped that some of that would rub off on me. She had a knack… gift… for seeing the big picture in every situation, and she took “giving until it hurts” and “giving of yourself” to levels that some people will never see. Mom believed that if you gave something and expected a return, you were giving wrong. For years, when I’d offer to pay back a favor or a loan she would tell me not to.
She’d say, “Don’t throw my blessing back in my face”. What she did and what she gave were never free, though. I was told that someday I would run into someone else who needed help, and that I should pay the debt that I owed to that person. Always accounts receivable with Mom, but she put a stranger’s name on every one. I realized several years ago why her outlook must have been so unique. Mom’s giving came from a place inside that not everyone knows that they have, or wants to contact. The God Place.

I can’t map the exact location, nor can I know how much good this well that must have been added to the original man somewhere between dust and “Where’d my other rib go?” can hold, but I can can vouch with no uncertainty for its existence. I can know this because I have seen with my own eyes the effect that reaching into it can have on everyone close enough to be touched. I’ve seen all of the love and encouragement and support and kindness and humor, all of the help and compassion and mercy of the Creator in this human woman who selflessly blessed my life. In her efforts to reflect all of the good and decent things in the world toward me, in her work to give hands and feet to faith, she gave me an undying hope and adoration for humanity. You guys would have loved her.

“They don’t know that I go running home when I fall down
They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
‘Cause deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child.”
~Twila Paris

This song is from Monty Python's "Life of Brian", and later "The Meaning of Life". The story is... when they were filming the last scene of "Life of Brian" they all got bored sitting up on their crucifixes, and Eric Idle started singing a little song. Eric wasn't crazy about it, but everyone else loved it so much that they decided to use it.

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...